Paullee’s Ceremony Speech

Let me describe to you the nature of the love I witness and feel in the presence of Audrey and Henry. And as I do, I invite you to bring to mind your own experiences.

It’s a warm orange cat in your lap dusting your pants with hair while you watch and discuss the acting choices on Twin Peaks. It’s that oozy, deep exhale type of comfort that’s somehow still totally alive with enthusiasm for art, for gossip, for something wild a kid said to Audrey on the playground, for a shading technique Henry learned in a drawing class. It’s spontaneously filming a reenactment of a 1938 movie scene about a fragment of underdone potato, on that same cat hair covered couch. 

I’m not sure they even understand how nourishing their kind of love is. How soothing yet enlivening it feels to partake in the life they’ve created together. Spending time with them is good medicine. It’s shelter from a storm where no matter what happens out there, we’re staying dry, we’ve got a warm mug, a hand knit sweater, and we’re laughing our asses off. This safety is a garden where life grows. 

I’ve thought about how they’ve managed to achieve this kind of love. Simply put, I believe it’s because they’re both caretakers and creatives. These two qualities equip them to sustain a dynamic yet steady love that strikes a note few can. There’s care inside their relationship and outside of it. Things like Henry gathering dozens of video birthday wishes for Audrey while she was in the hospital. Audrey being so game, so supportive of Henry’s unending carousel of new hobbies and fascinations. I’ve never once doubted their care for one another expressed both in grand gestures and quiet, unwavering support. Meanwhile outside their relationship there’s Audrey’s nannying, and Henry’s teaching. These two are expert caretakers.

There’s also creativity inside of their relationship and outside of it. The numerous theatrical projects they’ve partaken in together from their first play Decimation to their latest Lesbian Bigfoot, and of course the ones they’ve pursued apart and can come together after, dishing on their craft and on cast drama. Not to mention the wonderful, tight knit friend group who shares their passion for theater and all types of play. And then there’s the way care and craft intersect: Henry recently taking up piano and learning Audrey’s beloved 2005 Pride and Prejudice score. Audrey spending months on the most elaborate and specific Irish cable knit sweater for him.

Of course far before they were sealed into marriage they were brought together under a different event: a car accident. It was just six weeks their relationship. My brother had just picked Audrey up from the airport and had pulled over to grab his guitar from the backseat and serenade her with some Beatles. Boom, they got hit. When we got the call, my mom and I drove to the site on highway 290 in Austin. Mom and I pulled over to the right side of the four lane highway. They were wrecked on the left side. Obviously, mom and I ran across those four lanes, cars screeching to a halt, a cop screeching at us to stay back, Mom within an inch of his face telling them to fuck off. Apparently Henry heard me scream from across the highway, “That’s my brother!!!” 

Audrey had dislocated her left shoulder and an ambulance took her to the hospital. My mom, Henry, and me sped to the hospital not far behind. We watched them cart Audrey out of the ambulance on a stretcher from across a parking lot. My brother stood there, a stunned teenager. Me, way too hopped up on adrenaline, yelled, “Go to her!!!!” He ran right up to her and he hasn’t left her side since.

Now, a different set of tragic circumstances spurred Audrey and Henry to get legally married last year, technically abbreviating their engagement. When Audrey became paralyzed after the onset of a rare disease called Guillam Barre—one that me and Henry’s dad Paul suffered from as a child (cosmically)—Henry was able to take paid medical leave if they got married. So Audrey’s sister Helena led an emergency ceremony in their childhood backyard, Audrey still in her wheelchair. 

So why are we here today then? Why go to the trouble to hold this ceremony, this wedding? What makes being here and witnessing this so important? It’s because the privilege of being a part of the love these two have created, urges us to reciprocate, to have their backs, to pour into them. It compelled all of us to travel here and participate in a ceremony that’s devoted to celebrating these two. I hope all of us can feel how this container we’re in right now, this patch of garden in the love field they’ve created, IS that container of love and life they’ve created over this past near-decade. Henry and Audrey, you’re as loved by all of us as you love each other. Let that buoy and sustain you through whatever troubles and whatever joys you may have ahead of you.